Slyjinks

Chapter 6 of Confirmed Bachelor, from @emiratexaaron and my Fallout 4 + Discworld crossover series, Valentine & Vimes.

The Vimes family enjoys a rare evening when they’re all at home, staying up late and chatting by a warm fire. A question from Sybil prompts Vimes to try and imagine what his life might have been like if had met Nick rather than Sybil back during that dragon affair, and how very different things might have been. Of course, with Nick and Sybil there to give their own inputs, the story doesn’t always quite turn out how any of them expect it.

So I originally intended to half this recipe, except that I decided to use all the meat because I don’t have a lot of other call for boneless leg of lamb, only it turns out that I had more meat than the recipe called for, and meanwhile I actually did half everything else so… uhm. I wound up with a very very meat-centric “stew” with not a lot of extra liquids.

It was pretty good, though.

• Most ingredients halved, meat was a little more than called for (whoops)
• My “neutral tasting oil” was actually used, kinda spicy canola
• Instead of all purpose flour I used walnut flour, and did have to use some extra of that to get all the meat coated
• I think that might have been white onion instead of yellow
• Dried thyme instead of fresh (which was actually listed as an option, which was nice)
• I think I actually just used spiced turkey drippings instead of chicken broth, or rather a combination of turkey drippings and a small amount of pickle brine
• I used white wine vinegar instead of sherry vinegar
• dried parsley instead of fresh

Reactions: It was delicious and fall-apart tender. Partner is very picky about turnips but liked this and felt this was a good preparation of turnips. I did find myself complaining a bit because, although the recipe only uses one pot, there’s a lot of, “Cook this in the pot, then transfer to a bowl, then cook that in the pot, then transfer to the bowl, then keep taking the dish out of the oven to add x or y or z” going on. I like stews where you can just put everything in and let it cook (okay, maybe a little pre-browning of the meat and onion). Bitching aside, though, the results were really good, so maybe it was worth it?

Would we make this again: Maybe. I’d probably look for ways to reduce the number of steps.

• Grocery didn’t have rhubarb


• No pearl onions (raw onions are hard on Partner’s stomach)


• No fennel

Hoo boy.

These. These things.

Slimy balls of pickle brine.

No video to go with them, although apparently this is an alcohol-free version of a recipe that the same cook did on a Food Network show (”Spherified Picklebacks”).

(Images of them being floated in regular liquid pickle brine).

Differences from the recipe as written: My pickle-balls came in contact with each other prematurely, causing them to stick together, but I tried my best to follow this one to the letter.

Reactions: Slimy balls of pickle juice. I called them snot-textured, but Partner corrected me and referenced Partner’s expertise as an ear nose throat surgeon to clarify that they are not actually snot-textured. I had one, which was about all that I could handle. Partner ate the rest. Partner had earlier that day indulged in one too many Gelatinous Cubes, and declared that they made Partner feel instantly sober (a sort of false-sobriety, but it was fine for hanging out at home). Partner also claimed they should be called Spheres of Sobriety.

Personally, I feel like the recipe took way, way too much effort to produce “wobbly pickle brine”. They dirtied up a lot of dishes, and left them all slightly slimy. Partner was also bewildered by the amount of effort that these things took, and observed that if you wanted jello-ish picklebrine you could just… add gelatin.

This is an example of molecular gastronomy, but we both feel like there are more interesting things to be done with molecular gastronomy than “jello-pickles”.

Partner had this as a final observation: “Dr. Strange is a neurosurgeon. Neurosurgeons apparently don’t know how to cook.”

I found these online under the name Pot of Gold Jello Shots, but jello shots involving Goldschläger  (often with other flavors added) seem pretty common in general. Ours wound up much darker and less translucent than most, mostly because I used coconut sugar instead of regular white sugar. They’re pretty good, though, if you like cinnamon.

Differences from the recipe as written:

• The sugar was replaced with a combination of cocnut sugar, allulose, and golden monk fruit.
• We were a little shy of 16 ounces of Goldschläger, so we made up some of the difference with Apple Crown Royale, about a teaspoon of Allspice dram, and water

Reactions: We liked these quite a bit (and still have several in the fridge), and they’re fun, although a little difficult to get out of the tray.

Would we make these again: Maybe? We don’t often engage in the sort of events where you would do jello shots. When discussing it, Partner and I had an exchange like the following:

Me: “We don’t really do D&D-themed parties where it would make sense to have jello shots.”

Partner: “Well, if we went to a Fallout themed thing, we could call them radioactive slime or something.”

Me: “We don’t do Fallout themed parties where that would make sense, either.”

And it’s kind of hard to do single-servings of jello shots. Luckily, jello shots store in the fridge decently well for a little while, at least. I mean, if there’s an excuse to do them again, odds are good (although we might either do all Allulose or just break down and do white sugar in order to get clearer jello blobs).